milestones

Bereket called me mommy today. First time he's called me by name. And just last night I was musing how he will say mommy, repeat it after me, he knows who I am, but has never called me or addressed me that way.

Until today.

I like having another little one address me by that name. I like being his mommy. Feel overwhelmingly unqualified and insufficient to be the mortal arms that hold this little immortal soul.

The first night I had him, back at the guest house in Addis, when he looked so lost and alone and far away as I was trying, and failing, to get him to sleep, I prayed to my Heavenly Father. How do I love this little one? Your little one? Right now, what does that look like? And His voice came clear, and thankfully, quick.

Be my arms for him. 


I scooped up his little frame from beside me on the bed and laid him on me. He clung and I held tight. And I prayed he'd know the One who loves him more than I, the One whose arms stretched wide on that  wooden cross for him. And I felt completely overwhelmed that God was entrusting us, me, to love this little one for Him.

Reading in bed the other night, I heard little feet stealing down the hall towards me. Bereket peeked timidly around the corner. He had that lost look on his face again. His eyes are so dark and often I am at a complete loss as to how to read them. So deep. I held my arms out to him and he didn't hesitate a second. Heaved him up on the bed and he clung again and I held tight. And again was overwhelmed that God has allowed me to love this little one whose first two years of life will forever be a mystery to me. This little one, made in His image, loved by Him when he had no one. This eternal being.


"For people are the consciousness of God in the world, the closest thing to Him in the physical realm, and a more vivid reminder than anything else in creation of His existence, His mystery, and His creative power. If man really is fashioned, more than anything else, in the image of God, then clearly it follows that there is nothing on earth so near to God as a human being."          Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage




I do not deserve to love this little person. I am incapable of loving this little human being well. I am humbled that God would let me have him for a short time on this earth. Humbled that I am the one that gets to be called mommy by him. And so, so thankful, too.

brothers

I'm really not trying to be smart or rude when I answer the number one question people seem to ask when we are out with our boys, it's just that I love to say it.

"Are they brothers?"

They are now. 

We have three first-born sons and they are all brothers. I hope Bereket and Tamagn are as excited to have brothers as my biggest boy is. I know the wait was long for me. Can't imagine what it was to a little two-year old, how old Josiah was when we started telling him we were going to get him a brother from Ethiopia.

Once about two years ago, we pulled into the parking lot at Wal-mart and Josiah queried from the back seat, "Are we going to get my brother from here?" Wal-mart does seem to sell a little of everything....

And then when we were dropping papers at the State Representative's office to go to Harrisburg to be authenticated, about a mile from our house, he asked if this was Ethiopia. Really, he is a bright boy. Just kinda hard to understand it all.

Two years ago this month we sent our dossier off to Ethiopia. Finally completed all that paperwork. We were ready to be put into the queue of families waiting for children. I had wrestled over whether we should apply for one or two children. Had all our paperwork cleared for two but I wasn't settled with it. I didn't want to manage three kids under three (at that time we were told the wait was much shorter and were expecting to be traveling to get our baby the same month Josiah would turn three)--I wanted to be able to love them. And I just couldn't see it.

Finally I felt like God very clearly told me that the little boy he had a for us didn't have a brother or a sister. We signed up for one.

Eleven months later we still didn't have a referral and now we had a three-and-a-half year old and taking two seemed more feasible.

We changed our request. We'll take a sibling group.

Waited till just after Christmas for a referral and still didn't have anything. Put a call into our case manager and finally we asked the right questions. There just weren't any young sibling groups available. We can change our request back to one and have a referral in a few days, take two unrelated kids, or keep waiting, knowing that it might be another year still.

Changed our request again and had pictures of our two boys just 6 weeks later. On Valentine's Day. Their names are Bereket and Tamagn and neither of them have brothers or sisters.

We took them. Made them ours and called them brothers with our own. 

on wrestle time

 I was chopping carrots on Sunday, smiling to myself as my boys in the living room-- all four of them-- wrestled and squealed and growled and made the house shake. Then this little one came hauling around the corner and across the kitchen and grabbed my leg as though his life were before him.


























He jabbered away in a tongue I don't know and then gave me the biggest, brightest smile and pointed back to the living where his daddy and his brothers were playing hard. Then he was off. From my vantage point in the kitchen, I caught his heels going up over his head as he heaved his little frame back into the raucous with pure delight.

Bereket loves wrestle time and as Casey is on his second week of working half days, all my boys have enjoyed spending lots of time on the floor with daddy. So thankful! Bereket also loves to be tickled. He'll lay himself out before you with arms spread, shirt lifted on his very round, brown belly, just waiting for you. So hungry for attention. Skin itching for love. I am so glad to be able to give it.

All of my boys are adjusting to their new family really well. Really well. Better than I could have imagined. It's remarkable how good and right are boundaries, lots of love, attention, and discipline for children. Any children. True love doesn't let a child chart his own course and I have been so encouraged as Casey has jumped in to establishing his authority with these little love-hungry guys. Bereket especially has responded so well.

He has learned to give kisses, and zerberts, and how to pull your face to his to receive a kiss. His English improves every day and while I get a kick out of his monologues in Amharic, sometimes that mischievous smile on his face makes me wonder what on earth he is saying that he knows his mama can't understand.

Josiah continues to be an awesome big brother who is loving having two little brothers. He is so patient and affectionate and such a helper to his mama. He reminded me and encouraged me yesterday, while I was going head-to-head with my stubborn two-year old, "Mom, you can't let him win!" Thanks, coach.

Josiah harvesting a few neglected eggplant and tomatoes. 

Baby on my leg. I love it. 

saying goodbye

 or chau, as Bereket would say  

Our amazing help left us on Saturday. Had to get back to "God's country", or so they said.  They will be missed. A lot.

Casey's folks, Steve and Jeannie, flew out from Oregon to spend 2 weeks with us, caring for my home and family while I flew to Ethiopia, cooking all the meals my first week home with the boys, doing all the dishes, picking up the playroom every time I turned around. And so, so much more.

Thank you, Steve and Jeannie, for serving us so well. For loving us and our new boys in such a tangible way. We love you and miss you!

Our first few days at home

God is good. 

We have babies!

written Monday evening, September 5th, the day we picked up the boys. Labor Day.

We walked in the door to our guesthouse with a sleeping Tamagn and a half-asleep Bereket and headed for the stairs. Lydia, the very sweet hostess, looked up surprised and smiled, “You have babies!” We continued to our room, laid the boys down in their little cribs, covered them with their blankets sent for them from their nana and walked down to a late lunch. We have babies!! Is this for real?!

The morning was relaxed and lovely. Sleep last night was good. Shared a quiet breakfast with fresh orange juice with Brandon. We are presently the only occupants at the guest house and I admit I am enjoying the quiet. Don’t miss those rowdy teenagers at all.

A little after 9:30 a driver arrived for us from CWA. With a backpack full of diapers, snacks, toy cars, and picture books we loaded into the van and started down the road. Our non-English speaking driver seemed a little confused. He pulled to the side of the road and made a call on his cell phone. Drove another hundred yards down the road and pulled over again. Another phone call. And then another stop. Finally he flips a U-turn and heads back to the guesthouse where he gets a few more instructions from the guys hanging out in front of our guesthouse. I’m starting to wonder if he’s really from CWA and where is he taking us…. We started out again, in a different direction, and then flipped another U-turn. Up a road that looked more like a dry riverbed to another guesthouse where we found another family from CWA. They loaded up and we were on our way.

Welcome back to the highways of Addis! I was beginning to feel sick. After we sat behind a truck and inhaled black, black exhaust for a minute we pulled yet another U-turn only to drive 50 yards and loop back around to be behind that lovely truck again. I’m definitely feeling sick.

Made it to CWA’s office building without tasting that fresh OJ again where we met up with a couple more adoptive families, including a friend from our trip in May (yay for familiar faces!), and got prepped for our embassy appointment tomorrow. And then they took us to get our boys.

Our driver cruised right past Acacia Village and I am so glad one of the men was paying attention and recognized the building. One more U-turn and we were there. I was dry heaving about that time and made a beeline for the bathroom.

When I came back, there was Bereket in his Uncle B’s arms. He looked just as small and lost as he did the first time we met him. But, similar to the first time we met, it took no time at all for him to warm up and offer that sweet smile to our expectant faces. The next two hours—or three?—were a blur. Tamagn was sleeping so I sat on the floor and let Bereket flip slowly through the ABC book I’d made for him of his new home. His curious fingers enjoyed the slippery feel of the shiny pages I think as much as he enjoyed studying each picture. And study them he did.

Upstairs for a snack and then we peeked in on Tamagn and accidentally woke him up. Oops. The nannies are so very gracious. So patient.

I got to spend half an hour meeting with the nurse and psychologist for my “briefing” on the boys, with Tamagn in my lap. Reviewed their growth and developmental progress, health histories, current schedules, asked a few questions and that was it. Pass the baton, we’re on!

Our time ended with a traditional coffee ceremony with the lead staff and other adoptive families… and five newly adopted kids. And then that was it. We said thank you—how do you really thank the people who loved your kids in your absence for the last four months—and then all loaded into a van. Both Bereket and Tamagn slept most of the ride back to the guest house.

It is almost 10 pm Monday night as I finish this. My babies are sleeping in the room next door. We had a good day. A really good day. Both little boys are precious. I love their laughs. They smile lots. And give great hugs. Bereket knows the word hug and isn’t stingy. Tamagn is so close to walking, cruising around furniture and balancing on his own. So glad he waited for us. I had him playing on the bed and after a bit he turned around and pulled himself up and the pillows and you’d think he’d gotten into cap nip. He was hysterical, bouncing his face off the pillows, waving his arms and laughing. So fun.

I can’t wait for Josiah to meet them. Really. I think God has been very gracious to us and while I don’t doubt we’ll have some hard days, we have two very sweet, happy little boys that we can call ours. 

Hallelujah! We are home!!

Pulled in the driveway a little after 4 yesterday afternoon. So, so glad to be home. We are doing well. Hope to be able to post more later, but for now, just wanted you to know we made it. Thank you for all the prayers you raised for us, the Lord was very gracious.

Bereket seems to be loving his home and all the attention, Josiah is still on cloud 9 and Tamagn slept 12 hours last night but still having some tummy problems. Couldn't ask for more. 

Heading home

Beza delivered the boys' passports/visas and "sealed envelopes" this morning so we are all set to come home. Tamagn is napping back at our guest house while we walked for more diapers and a chance to use the internet. Trying to get just a little exercise in before we board that plane. Brandon's back is pinched and Tamagn stills seems a little bit under-the-weather, but we are optimistic for the flight and might have a contact to get us a bassinet. Hooray!

Thanks for all your prayers. The boys become US citizens the moment that plane touches down in DC. I continue to ponder the whole process of adoption in light of our own adoption into the family of God and it is overwhelming. Overwhelmingly good. So thankful to have been adopted by Him into His forever family. For forever.

B and I ran to the other guest house (literally!) while the boys are sleeping to hand out the skate boards Casey sent for some of the boys he met last trip. And... they always have internet working here, so I get to say hello.

Got to talk to Casey this morning. I need that! I miss my husband. This time apart has been good to show me how much I depend upon him in so  many ways. The last 24 hour were rather emotionally draining for me, but I am feeling stronger. Feeling up for the trip home tomorrow. And both boys are napping well today.

Struggling to not feel stir-crazy as we just hang out at the guest house. Ready to get moving home. Starting to rain. Need to run back. Love to you All!

The rubber meets the road

Hello all.  Casey here, stateside.  I talked wtih Emily at 11:00am this morning (6:00pm in Ethiopia).  The good news is that they cleared Embassy.  She said that it took much longer than we both anticipated, but that it is done.  Visas should be ready Thursday morning, and they fly out Thursday night.

The exhaustion has finally set in.  Em didn't sleep at all last night, and she keeps getting sick in transport (getting to and from appointments).  The pollution in Addis is pretty bad this time of year.  Both boys are pretty sick too.  It sounds like Tamagn is fairly easy going, but is having problems eating/drinking his bottle because of his respiratory infection.  Bereket is showing the heart of a 2 year old who has been in an institution for most of his life.

Please pray that Emily would be able to sleep tonight (Brandon is going to stay up with the boys), and that the boys would be okay to travel in 2 days.  Please pray that Bereket's heart (and Tamagn's) would be softened.   

Below is a video of the boys I received yesterday

Short update from Addis

Just have a minute. We haven't been able to get online with Brandon's  laptop and I don't have a USB to transfer documents to upload. But... we are doing very well. So much better than I would have guessed. Both boys are precious and so happy.

It is Tuesday morning here. Tamagn is sleeping as we head out for the embassy at 12 or so. Bereket has been speaking today. Crazy! He is demonstrating that he can repeat just about any English word I say. Tamagn just has one intelligible word: dada. And he loves to say it.

I got to give them both baths this morning, after they both had fairly sound sleep last night. I didn't sleep much at all, similar to my first night with Josiah when he was brand new. Heard every sound they made, as well as the dogs and trucks and a few goats. But we are well.

I need Casey to be here and work his magic on our internet connection. Very frustrating. The guesthouse has access now we just can't seem to get the laptop to make that connection. Any hints? Hopefully I"ll get to post more later... thanks for all your prayers. Can't wait to share more... and have you meet these sweet little guys.

~emily

Update from stateside

Hello all... Casey here.  I just talked with Emily a little bit ago.  Internet is down at the guest house, so she can't post.

Our phone connection wasn't stellar (imagine that). Regardless, this is what I gathered.  Emily and Brandon are both doing very well.  They picked up the boys this morning.  Emily said Bereket and Tamagn both look good, but haven't changed much.  She said that Bereket took really well to Brandon, and that Tamagn is still pretty easy going.  I believe that both boys fell asleep on the van ride back to the guest house, and that as soon as they got there, Emily put both boys down for a nap.  When I talked with her, she was eating lunch as the boys were sleeping.  From here on out, Emily and Brandon have the boys.  Embassy is tomorrow morning, which is the last hoop to jump through.

From what I can gather, sounds like things couldn't be going any smoother.  Praise Jesus.  I will talk to Em again this afternoon (before they go to bed).  I'll post an update then.  Thanks for all your support!
casey

beautiful day

Yesterday began my journey back to Ethiopia to get these little boys and bring them home.

After calling the post office at 8:30 and pleading with them to let me come and pick up the FedEx package that I knew they had received the prior afternoon, Josiah and I hopped in the car and went to pick up the ABC book of pictures of our home and friends... pictures of Bereket's and Tamagn's new home and new family. I look forward to reading it to them on the plane.

We then swung by a coffee shop and grabbed 12 oz of Ethiopian brew. Appropriate coffee for today. I think I confused the girl at the window with my enthusiasm...

Saying goodbye to Casey and Josiah at the Pittsburgh airport was much harder than I'd anticipated. I think the emotions of it all came pouring on and then out in the form of tears. I love drawing attention in public.

Made it to just fine to a very busy D.C. airport as did my bags, loaded with tiny clothes and shoes, diapers, formula, bottles, all those many baby things I haven't used for a long time. Found Brandon... er, rather, he found me. Made it to our hotel and dumped our load of luggage and then a van of familiar faces pulled up to take us to dinner. As I was trying to get control of my tears at the security checkpoint in Pittsburgh, it was Brandon's face and Anna's that I kept putting before my mind.

Anna and I met back when we were 11, just starting 6th grade at Calvary Assembly School, and have kept in touch as we've both moved here and there multiple times over the past 20 years. Last night I got to meet her sweet kiddos for the first time and enjoyed some very good Mexican food with her lovely family. We even got a first-rate driving tour of the capitol compliments of her husband, Jeff, who works on capitol hill.

And we're off to the airport... Thanks for all your prayers. I am excited to see our little boys again! Here we go!!!