Just wanted to share a few pictures. We are all still alive-- all of us-- and have enjoyed visits from my parents in this last month. The good news of being adopted, grafted into a family, is that you get the whole family. I guess some might call this the bad news... but in our case it is good! Our boys are pretty lucky to have four grandparents who love and adore them and know how to enjoy them.
And I think that both of our boys must have known in the past what it is to be enjoyed. It isn't foreign to them. They don't seem toughened or untrusting or resistant to being loved. We were told prior to making them ours that the Ethiopian culture as a whole values children. That most adopted kids do really well when brought into a family. We've found that to be true. For which I am so thankful.
Now I just get to deal with my own shortcomings in loving. For some reason it is much easier for me to accept grace when I am frustrated or impatient or angry with Josiah. Our relationship has the benefit of time. He knows I love him more than life itself and he knows his mom falls short often and he understands grace and forgiveness and is always willing to extend them to me.
But I have struggled with really feeling guilty when I sin against the little one whose eyes are so deep and dark. I can't read him. I don't know that he understands when mommy says she's sorry for being frustrated... again. He takes what you give him rather passively and it scares me to death.
God has given us, me, remarkable grace this first month and a half, but I've felt these past few days that that grace is waning and I'm tired and losing it more often and I've been thankful, so thankful, that the transition has been good, and I've wondered can I give thanks even when it feels like I am completely devoid of grace to offer? What does it look like for me to draw upon the grace of God today? And haven't I been doing that all along?
My time is up. I start my day with much more grace when I am dressed and ready to go before little feet start padding across the floor upstairs.
Here are a few of the pictures that have been sitting on my desktop for the last 3 weeks, waiting to be uploaded. Grandaddy meeting his two new favorite grandsons. {smile}
And I think that both of our boys must have known in the past what it is to be enjoyed. It isn't foreign to them. They don't seem toughened or untrusting or resistant to being loved. We were told prior to making them ours that the Ethiopian culture as a whole values children. That most adopted kids do really well when brought into a family. We've found that to be true. For which I am so thankful.
Now I just get to deal with my own shortcomings in loving. For some reason it is much easier for me to accept grace when I am frustrated or impatient or angry with Josiah. Our relationship has the benefit of time. He knows I love him more than life itself and he knows his mom falls short often and he understands grace and forgiveness and is always willing to extend them to me.
But I have struggled with really feeling guilty when I sin against the little one whose eyes are so deep and dark. I can't read him. I don't know that he understands when mommy says she's sorry for being frustrated... again. He takes what you give him rather passively and it scares me to death.
God has given us, me, remarkable grace this first month and a half, but I've felt these past few days that that grace is waning and I'm tired and losing it more often and I've been thankful, so thankful, that the transition has been good, and I've wondered can I give thanks even when it feels like I am completely devoid of grace to offer? What does it look like for me to draw upon the grace of God today? And haven't I been doing that all along?
My time is up. I start my day with much more grace when I am dressed and ready to go before little feet start padding across the floor upstairs.
Here are a few of the pictures that have been sitting on my desktop for the last 3 weeks, waiting to be uploaded. Grandaddy meeting his two new favorite grandsons. {smile}
Thanks for sharing, Emily.
ReplyDeletePraying that same grace for myself today.
Awww... Those pictures are so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures of Bereket against the golden leaves!
I love your writing and your pictures, it's fun they like to smile, or else taking a picture with tamagn and bereket together would be difficult.
ReplyDeleteThanks for keeping up a blog!
That's one of the most amazing things about Grace, it's there, waiting with open arms for us no matter how often we fall and stumble back to it. You need to extend grace to yourself...you need to forgive yourself in the same way we forgive others. I struggle with this too, with all my kids at times because being a mommy is hard work, especially as we are trying to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I have found that when I can forgive and accept His grace for myself I am filled up with grace to give again. Walking with you as we embrace His love and grace over and over again. Lots of love.....oh, and the boys are absolutely precious!
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting! I love seeing pictures of your Dad with Bereket! Glad to hear that you are doing well- Love, Kristina
ReplyDelete