May 28th, 2011
We made our second trip to Acacia Village yesterday. I was rather self-absorbed as we arrived—hadn’t slept at all the night before and wasn’t feeling very well. Used those nocturnal hours to replay the events of the day before. Mental slideshow of the faces of two sweet little guys. A flashing smile with sunglasses slipping down a perfect button nose. Long dark lashes of baby sleeping, the gentle rhythm of peaceful breathing.
And then I began to analyze. Too much. Took me to a bad place. And as I lay wide awake on my bottom bunk, relentless barking dogs and bleating goat on the street below, fear wrapped its icy, life-strangling hands around my heart and squeezed.
What are we doing!?!?! Two babies as once? Are we crazy? What should I make of T’s contented look? Maybe he’s not content but flat. Due to an attachment problem? How come he didn’t show any emotion in the pictures of him with his birth mom? Did he make any eye contact with me yesterday? Did he show any emotion at all?
We were so preoccupied with getting B to let us near him I didn’t think that much about the quiet baby on my hip. Is this all a mistake?
Needless to say, it was a l-o-n-g night.
Finally got up from my restless bed and showered at 4:30 AM. At 5, a gently rain began patting down and a low, mesmerizing chant, the voices of early morning worshippers, drifted in our open door from across the valley.
Our driver was late again, but did come, and delivered us safely back to Acacia Village.
I found B up in his room, standing in his crib. I peeked around the door and caught his eye. That little face LIT UP and with outstretched arms he gave me one of those brilliant smiles of his. I scooped him up and took him to his daddy.
Josiah had helped me choose a frog puppet to bring to the kids in the orphanage and we pulled it out for B to see. He squealed. Happy or scared? Hmmm. Try again. Not so sure. We looked to the nanny for help. Happy or scared? She very politely told us, with a smile and nodding head, “Mm. Scared. Yes. Not like.” Right. Puppet back in bag.
Took him down to the play room and he hit the ground running and smiling. Future track star? The boy likes to run.
A video crew came in to film the parents meeting their new children (an interesting program our agency offers) and provided a situation for us to be with B and these two Ethiopian guys he’d never met before (ie they were the strangers and we were familiar). I was so very encouraged by the way B responded. He was shy, retreated to my lap, and sat there with that curious, questioning look on his face the whole time. He looked to me for support in an unknown situation. Treated them just like he’d treated us the day before and depended upon us the way just yesterday he’d depended up on his nanny. Can’t tell you how thankful I was for that.
We got to feed both boys their snacks of pureed avocado. T is just starting solids and has the oral skills equivalent to a 6 month old. He did display very clear opinion when he was done, which I was glad to see.
I took him up to a private room where I could put him on the floor and play with him. He crawls very well, displays interest in his surroundings, can pull himself to his knees, and stand with support.
And he giggles!! Cradling him in my arms, I’d tip him way back and then get his neck, delighted in his delight. From that vantage point I could see he is just about to cut a tooth through on the upper left.
I spent most of my time in that little room with him, sharing the quiet space with Leah and James and their new 5 month old. He cuddled with me a long time, the cool breeze from the window on our faces. A nanny came in and brought another bottle. He wasn’t very interested but obediently took it and drank. As soon as she walked out, he pushed it away, sat up and spit out his milk. Wouldn’t take any more. Leah’s baby did the exact same thing and we all laughed.
He fell asleep on me again and I held him till it was time to go. Perfectly content.
Spent the afternoon at our guest house, crying, and went out for dinner to a cultural restaurant where we got to experience Ethiopian traditional dance. Very cool! Took some video on my little camera that I look forward to sharing. Don’t have the battery juice to upload now, but it is worth seeing. The guy who came with us, a native Ethiopian, said he knew the dances also. Explain, please? They are truly traditional dances, that are passed down as part of their heritage and are practiced at celebrations and events. Just wait till you see them. Our whiteness was seriously magnified!
It is currently Sunday morning. We are waiting for a driver to take us to a church service. I’m looking forward to worshipping with part of God’s family so far from my own. Abundant blessings to you all!
~emily
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